Hacked Gadgets Forum

December 20, 2008

Guess what this isn’t contest – 4

at 1:31 am. Filed under Contests

No emails this time, we are going to do another Guess what this isn’t contest. We had lots of fun on the last one! Simply reply in the comments what this device isn’t and let us know what you would pick from ThinkGeek. 🙂 Make it funny, crazy, weird… Just use your imagination. You can enter more than once if you come up with more than one thought. With a short vote the best comment will win the prize. The prize this week is a Gift Certificate to ThinkGeek for $50.00. This contest will run from December 20, 2008 – December 26, 2008 . Ending time is based on central standard time.

Have a look at my first comment for an example entry.


Added January 6, 2009

In case you are curious this is where the image came from.

The winner is Matrix  for comment 30.

Thanks to all who entered, these were so much fun to read!

This is the winning comment:

"Now, you blighters have it all wrong seeing as I am the one who built the first of these. What you have there is your classic third generation interstellar gate (not to be confused with your chrono-gate or “time machine” as some others have implied) It has a few fundamental changes from my model 1 gate, but despite the various improvements, the operation remains the same.

To begin, the user engages the motor to the right (my original used steam, but this obviously uses some form of brushed electrical system) which, by spinning the flux bar (shown here to be nearly vertical in orientation) begins to induce a strong electro-gravitational distortion… a “space warp” if you will. The user then fine-tunes his “space warp” using the levers on the left of the device to select his specific destination in 3 dimensional space. After setting, all that remains to be done is for the user to walk calmly and briskly through the gate to his destination.

I notice some improvements over my original design here, in that the model 3 up there has a rather large pair of temporal stabilizers (seen as the two larger protrusions on the left and right of the flux bar). That, coupled with the smaller aetheric condensors (seen here as the two smaller devices set to the far left and far right, beyond the temporal stabilizers) serve to ensure the user does not 1) accidentally cross time-lines and end up in some other universe and 2) prevents an accumulation of aetheric and gravitational particles (graviolis). Too large a concentration of gravioli can cause, at times, a massive implosion of the local time-space surrounding the device. Needless to say, being reduced to a singularity can really throw the wrench in otherwise grandiose plans for interstellar vacationing."


Below is a picture of what I would buy with a $50 gift certificate at  ThinkGeek. 🙂


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90 Responses to “Guess what this isn’t contest – 4”

  1. Madis Says:

    High voltage Nipkow disk

  2. lenny Says:

    im pretty sure this isnt the lastest pizzadough spinning machine from china.
    but if it is you can get it at walmart in about three months time.

  3. santiago oliver Says:

    This is not a fixed half past eleven clock and should change it for a led binary watch

  4. Jessica Fox Says:

    You guys are way off! This is a family board game! This was the production model of the popular hit television show “Wheel of fortune”. Due to the poor quality of the image you can’t see the numbers marked into that wheel though, you can however see the black dot which was the bankrupt. The reason it never made it into many homes is due to the fact it could only be powered by gas, which made it hard to play, after about 2 rounds everybody would fall asleep and never wake up due to fumes.

    With a 50$ gift card I would buy myself this baby
    Pertelian External LCD Display v5

    You can never have too many readouts

  5. Ren Says:

    I had one of these when I was a kid!
    I got it for Christmas in 1964. Mom was really mad at
    Santa for bringing that one! If you ever get one,
    DO NOT hook it up to a combination of Tinker Toys, Lincoln
    Logs, and Deluxe Erector Set.
    And if you do, DO NOT bypass the battery holder and hook it up to household current!
    And if you do, DO NOT turn it on.
    And if you do, DO NOT turn it on in the house!
    And if you do,
    DO NOT have any siblings or family pets close enough to get
    snagged by whirling parts! You would’t believe the mess it
    can make!
    If I won the ThinkGeek gift card, I’d probably have to re-gift it anyway… you know…ThinkGeek has that silly old restraining order.

  6. Almost_There Says:

    That is the view from underneath the Roulette Wheel at the local Indian Reservation. I always thought that thing was rigged, this proves it!

  7. London Says:

    This is Thomas Edison’s attempt at building a hoax perpetual motion device to try to gain some points after losing out to Tesla in the DC vs AC battle. Unfortunately Edison didn’t quite grasp the concept of hiding the motor that powers it.

    If I won, I would get the personal soundtrack t-shirt, no contest

  8. Theseus Says:

    This is obviously the circa 1888 prototype moto-roto-mechano-pulsedrive system, with enhance knobified do-daditry for the avian
    techno-thirst quenching system…or simply put: a mechanized drinky bird!

  9. kai4065 Says:

    I think, it’s the prototype of the Large Hadron Collider! This particle accelerator doesn’t need as much power as the new one and is able to collide protons with higher energies than everything else. Even Greenpeace helped to build it from cheap an biological materials like wood! But some dumb ass scientist lost a finger when playing around with it, so they decided to build a bigger one, where no one could loose a finger…

  10. DukeJohn Says:

    C’mon you guys…jeez..This is OBVIOUS!!
    All of the items attached to the wood…
    are there to prevent the wood from becoming ANTI-WOOD…once it passes through a black hole.
    next item please!! : )

  11. jdw242b Says:

    you’re kidding me? You don’t recognize the VERY FIRST iPod? Wow. The platter for storing one song; the volume and tone knobs?? AM/FM tuning??

    Oh my.

    If it be me; I like: http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/7-13-years/b0e1/ size small for my kid.

  12. Randal Bradakis Says:

    I can’t believe that nobody has figured this out.

    It’s the alpha version of the Stepford Wife.

    And if I get to spend a certificate at ThinkGeek, this week’s obsession is with this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/831e/

  13. Skazz Says:

    It’s an electric monkey shaver, similar to the ones found in most middle-school history books. This model is circa 1960’s, before the electrical transmission lines were popular in the West. Hence, you can see the black generator and radiator combination on the right. In the foreground you’ll see two glass tubes, those contain counterweights. In the prototypes the monkey would spin out, and one would resort to crude monkey-untangling devices to straighten it. A barrel that size would only accommodate small to medium sized monkeys, and only one at a time. As such, this was probably a home device and not intended for industrial use. Later on, monkey shaving would be performed by robots, or robotically-enhanced lutefisk. Of course, since the creation of PETA and PETA’s Archipelago of the South, monkey-fur has fallen deeply out of style, and there are few examples of such devices to be found today.

    And with the current state of the environment accelerating the coming of the Mutant Wars, I’d have to add only the most practical of items, the Gladiator Helmet, to my defense supplies.

  14. Matrix Says:

    Well, I once saw this down in someone’s garage sale. I asked the man, a rather eccentric looking chap with hair white as snow and thick glasses, what this was. In response, the man launched into an absolutely brilliant description of what is known as the “Wimshurst Machine”.

    “This machine,” he told me, “was an amazing electrostatic generator consisting of two, large, contra-rotating discs that generated a large static charge by separation of electric charges via a fascinating principle called ‘electrostatic induction’ or ‘influence’.”

    Sipping calmly from his glass of iced-tea, he continued, “When the discs of the machine are rotated in opposite directions, an imbalanced charge is induced and then stored in two metal collectors until the dielectric breakdown voltage of the air is reached and the collectors bridge the gap with a spark.”

    My jaw was dropped to the floor as he told me about this amazing contraption… such a simple concept that generated such an astoundingly high voltage that it could cause a spark of THAT length! I simply must have this machine, I thought… so I asked him how much he wanted for his Wimshurst Machine.

    “Oh, that?” he asked, pointing to the very machine in the picture. “You got me all wrong, buddy! That’s just an old record player!”

    ba-dum kssh. I’m still interested in http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/af4c/

  15. Ben Wardill Says:

    I heard sony were giving their next playstation a vintage look but this is ridiculous. Just look how big the discs are. I hope they are stil blu ray as they will be bloody massive games.

  16. Alan Parekh Says:

    Hi Ben,

    This new disk format is to prevent counterfeiting. 🙂

  17. Jake Says:

    I am guessing that it is NOT:

    An official Red Ryder carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time.

    If it is, I’ll almost certainly shoot my eye out. I mean, come on. How on earth are you going to shoot Black Bart with that thing? He’s far more likely to get soap poisoning from it.

  18. Jake Says:

    Oh, and what I would pick: Probably some miraculin tablets. I gotta try that.

  19. Bryce Says:

    It obviously a device designed to measure to true roundness of a woman’s buttocks or breasts. The more round they are the more perfectly it will draw a circle. Once I find a perfect woman with this device I would buy her a snug fitting “got root” t-shirt.

  20. Danny Says:

    This is how they buried Tik Tok from Return To Oz – http://farm1.static.flickr.com/127/408967998_19e9a76343.jpg?v=0
    Would love to play with – Pertelian External LCD Display v5

  21. wt Says:

    it was used for the bonus rounds of Japanese gameshows from the 1920’s

    i would put it towards a RFID Experimentation Kit in the spirit of hacked gadgets. then put a tag in each of my folders for classes, certain websites and programs open. was it a radio?


  22. Adam Says:

    It’s not a Dilithium matrix chamberm

    Tuttuki Bako Virtual Finger Game from thinkgeek.com

  23. kiwitv Says:

    Flux Capacitor V1.0

  24. Wolfy Says:

    this is the best espresso machine that was made in the 1920s. It was every baristas dream to at least use one of these. It all starts in that huge circular chamber and percolates into the vials then gets compressed down into a thick foamy shot(cause all baristas know its the head that makes the shot!). After it completely fills the right chamber up it turns on a motor that plays some smooth jazz music to let you know its done. Man, had I known these were still around I wouldn’t have ever wasted my time on a MR beany!

  25. ssbeast Says:

    Large, metallic, clunky, requiring much maintenance and hand operated….a (genuine)copy of windows vista no less.

    as for the second question, i wouldnt mind one of those clock things like Alan mentioned above.

  26. wackyvorlon Says:

    It is a victorian hearing aid, developed by Nikola Tesla to help him communicate with dutchmen.

  27. Skullker Says:

    this is the machine used by Doctor Frankenstein to bring to life his monster. just hook it up to the “specimen” and when lightning strikes this baby will bring back to life anything from your dead dog to brother’s mom’s sister’s twice removed cousin who died from your grandmother’s cooking.
    Side effects may include but are not limited to Abdominal bleeding, anemia, black stool, blood in urine, blurred vision, changes in heatbeat, chills, confusion, congestive heart failure, dry eyes and mouth, emotional volatitity, fever, hair loss, hearing loss, hepatitis, hives, inability to sleep, inflammation of nose, inflammation of the pancreas or stomach, kidney or liver failure, servere allergic reactions, shortness of breath, skin eruptions or peeling, sleepiness, stomach or upper intestinal ulcer, vision loss, vomiting blood, wheezing, yellow eyes and skin.

  28. David Says:

    A desklamp.

    I’d get a tiny utili-key. 🙂

  29. bobby banana Says:

    Skullker is close. It’s the actual device used to jump-start the nation’s VP every morning.

    More importantly, after Jan 20th it will be slightly modified by the economic transition team to automatically generate the sequences of stimuli needed to boost the economy again, and again, and again. Its main advantage will be that its operational cost are lower than that of printing money in increasingly larger denominations. Unfortunately, it is projected that, in 2011, the machine will fail under the workload of pumping impulses into the continually reducing economic impedance which by then will resemble a short circuit.

  30. Nate Says:

    this is obviously the first atomic alarm clock! cant you tell?

  31. Daniel Says:

    This thing plays music!

  32. Keelan Says:

    This is an atomic, unbreakable bond glue maker. It has a hammer to test each batch of glue’s unbreakability (which, of course, never varies.) you put the ingredients in the large circular chamber, which then spins extremely quickly (like a centrifuge), mixing the ingredients thoroughly. It then deposits the glue into a special, anti-stick bowl, coated with a superstickophobous substance. Once the glue is poured, it solidifies within 30 seconds, so you must be quick in the application. Once it hardens, nothing short of Einstein, Kepler, and Newton combined could separate the objects glued together.

  33. Keelan Says:

    And I would most definitely pick the http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/giftsunder50/831e/ .

  34. Pouncer Says:

    @ Daniel

    Right! it’s WinAmp version -.001 lol

    Great response to this contest!

  35. Dale Says:

    This is clearly Bill Gates first Hard Disk Drive

  36. Keelan Says:

    Read the info. The contest is closed.

  37. Gonzo Says:

    When is the result going to be posted?

  38. Alan Parekh Says:

    Hi Gonzo,

    The winner should be announced this weekend.

  39. Gonzo Says:

    Thanks Alan! I’m interested to see.

  40. Guess what this isn’t contest - 5 - Hacked Gadgets - DIY Tech Blog Says:

    […] time, we are going to do another Guess what this isn’t contest. We had lots of fun on the last one! Simply reply in the comments what this device isn’t and let us know the watch you would pick […]

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