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No emails this time, we are going to do another Guess what this isn’t contest since the last one was so much fun! Simply reply in the comments what this device isn’t. Have a look at my first comment for an example entry.
————————————–———- The winner is Bill Beaty "It’s the beam generator for DOCTOR LENARD’S HAIR TATTOO(tm). Whether your goal is a Lily Munster patch or a full body zebra-stripes treatment, Hair Tattoo comes through(tm). After the painful radiation-blisters fall away, hair follicles will be permanently altered to only produce filaments of frosty white." Thanks to all who entered. ————————————–———- Below are some pictures of the prize.
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Make it funny, crazy, weird… Just use your imagination. You can enter more than once if you come up with more than one thought. With a short vote the best comment will win the prize. The prize this week will help you install or trouble-shoot your LAN, it may save you some time when hunting out the problem wire connection. This contest will run from August 16, 2008 - August 21, 2008 . Ending time is based on central standard time.
August 16th, 2008
This is a glass fishing bobber from the 40’s. The ones made today are usually red and white plastic.
August 16th, 2008
This is the emitter device used in a attempt to make a portal gun. But in the end all it did was turn peapole in to chickens.
August 16th, 2008
Its a suppository for chuck norris
August 16th, 2008
Cathode Ray Tube
August 16th, 2008
A bottle of vodka
August 16th, 2008
Cathode Ray Bong
August 16th, 2008
This is a crucial time inverting part from Dr. Horrible’s freeze ray…
August 16th, 2008
Plasma rifle compression tube, obviously.
August 16th, 2008
Its an old fashion turkey baster. This one features dual basting action.
August 16th, 2008
It’s a “yard of ale” for robots.
August 16th, 2008
It isn’t a robot enema kit.
August 16th, 2008
it’s mainly to distract people, you put it somewhere and when people stop to try and figure out what it is, you steal their wallets.
August 16th, 2008
On first sight I would say an early cathode ray tube, however on closer inspection it appears to be a rectal thermometer for elephants.
August 16th, 2008
Its the Plasma Manifold for the Doomsday Device. MWAhahaa
August 16th, 2008
Its a new design for windows vista box…
August 16th, 2008
OMG, it’s the new iMac!!
August 16th, 2008
cathode ray tube with out the aiming magnets
August 16th, 2008
It is our known universe encapsulated and sitting on Gods table. With teets to sucker the string theorists into alternate dimensions.
August 16th, 2008
It’s one of those quote/unquote, wink..wink…Female Robot Neck Massagers
August 16th, 2008
It isn’t a picture to electron converter
August 16th, 2008
It isn’t a WASER Pistol — Water Amplification by Stimulated Emmision of Radiation water pistol
August 16th, 2008
It is a Einstein-Rosen Bridge enhancer.
August 16th, 2008
Ship in a Bottle kit for a submarine.
August 16th, 2008
It is a ship in a bottle without the ship.
August 16th, 2008
it isn’t a mini-ramscoop model
August 16th, 2008
This.. is one of the first commercial fart bombs
August 16th, 2008
I hope it isn’t a rectal Galileo thermometer.
August 16th, 2008
It is a Glass Eye.
You insert it, and it goes right through a hole in your brain that the Mad Doctor made connecting directly to the Visual Cortex at the back of your head.
August 16th, 2008
This is just simply Ben Franklin’s fisrt attempt at inventing the bong.
August 16th, 2008
Thomas Edison, lightbulb prototype #1027
August 16th, 2008
This is an ancient staff head from a staff of a lost tribe many years ago, possibly representing their sun god. Carbon dating shows it’s over 3000 years old and other testing shows that the residue inside once glowed brighter than the sun! The stand for it was made out of the staff itself, because it was of such little interest to those who found it at the time, who were not archaeologists or researchers of any kind… more like souvenir pirates… though they kept the warning label, using today’s advanced technology we can translate as saying “Warning: May cause ocular bleeding, severe disintegration, or wrath of Gods and/or Goddesses. Please use responsibly and only under supervision of a licensed shaman or witchdoctor.”
August 16th, 2008
one of the first pen invented… the company claimed “This will be the last pen you will buy ever… The pen with the biggest ink container of all time !”…”but wait, call by mail in the next 45 minutes and you will receive a original Benjamin Franklin’s Kite for free”
Sorry for my little english (my mother laguage is french)
August 16th, 2008
that my pipe
August 16th, 2008
Its a digital wine decanter
August 16th, 2008
Its a flux capacitor for installation into a squirrels giving them time travel capability’s for only half a acorn’s weight in uranium
Installation details are incomplete but it generally involves duct tape a rubber band some form of paper clip and usually a hammer.
August 16th, 2008
This was the first attempt at human cloning, constructed on a large scale and then shrunk with the government’s, still-secret, shrinking technology, this ROBOTIC SPERM CELL was made out of glass and filled with specifically engineered genetic materials. The robot would then be launched at a captive female egg; upon entry of the egg wall, the impact would shatter the glass shell therefore releasing the genetic material and successfully fertilizing the egg. The project was scrapped due to the fact that it was proven cheaper by economists to hire a cheap hooker and inject her with whatever was of interest than follow through with the experiment.
August 16th, 2008
this is the first known vibrator.
August 16th, 2008
It’s a Banana!!!!
August 16th, 2008
Its not a girl. Is it?
August 16th, 2008
It’s OBVIOUSLY an electrically-actuated toilet-tank float ball and arm.
http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/how-to-repair-toilet-tank-problems-1.jpg
August 16th, 2008
It’s not a pretend glass machine gun.
August 16th, 2008
It is a container for pure overrated comedy. One teet for Jack Black and the other For Will Ferrell.
August 16th, 2008
its a gyno exam tube for the porn industry…
August 16th, 2008
This isn’t the world’s smallest ship-in-a-bottle. (So small as to be nearly invisible…such painstaking work!)
August 16th, 2008
This is clearly a primitive one time use Gauss Rifle. In addition to launching a projectile, the shattering glass also causes close range AOE damage.
August 16th, 2008
fart tester . test the flammibitly of the gas from your rectum.
August 16th, 2008
This is the only surviving component, of the device that makes cars get 200 mile per gallon, after the BIG 3 got wind of it.
August 16th, 2008
It is… just heavy enough to keep the ‘lighter than air’ wooden part from floating away.
August 17th, 2008
This is the first attempt at a test tube baby, needless to say disappointment followed a) because the infant seen here lying on its back had a large head,long neck and only 1 arm and leg but also b) because the researcher had taken the request too literally
August 17th, 2008
It is a machine used to test the density of post apocalyptic ash… Sadly it has never been able to be used…
August 17th, 2008
Its an x-ray tube.
August 17th, 2008
it is a rectal thermometer
August 17th, 2008
Single-use baseball bat.
August 17th, 2008
This isn’t the most comfortable catheter in the world, but it gets the job done…
August 17th, 2008
OMG!, is the grandma’s ear aid device, thanks thanks… she lost it some years ago… HEY GRANDMA! SEE YOU THIS!
August 17th, 2008
It’s a revolutionary light bulb that is so efficient it will last 25yrs on a single watch battery.
August 17th, 2008
This was supposed to be the gun used in Scarface but then they realized you could see how much ammo was still in the gun.
August 17th, 2008
This is the latest in hybrid engine technology, developed by Exxon Hatin’ Motors Inc.
It runs off air and a hatred of high gas prices, two of the most renewable resources known to man.
August 17th, 2008
It’s a device for catching farts in a bottle. Put the bottle on one nipple, and the other… well I’m sure you can figure it out.
August 17th, 2008
It is the first attempt at a Word War II transparent panzerschreck. The design never caught on though, due to troops loosing them after setting them down.
August 17th, 2008
This is a very professional stomage content guessing device - if it doesn’t fit completely - the stomage must be full or at least containing something you ate (i think) - you can wire the device for more light inside - so your noble guess will eventually turn out right or wrong - also sold as family entertainment package for those traveling abroad. If the device get (r)ejected the food was to bad to keep.
August 17th, 2008
An anti-matter digital photograph taken with an anti-matter digital camera of an early cathode ray tube made completely of anti-matter on an anti-matter wooden stand made of an anti-matter trees, anti-matter wood stain, anti-matter lacquer, anti-matter wood glue on an anti-matter table with an anti-matter backdrop.
August 17th, 2008
it’s an antic version of condom
August 17th, 2008
Its an electric weed amplifying Bong Spudgun, the THC smoke in the bong is hit by 220v and the air in the bong expands quickly giving the user a direct hit… recomended only for the advanced users or people with terminal illness… ^^
August 17th, 2008
This is the Neuralizer-Flash-Tube, used by the Men in Black. Normaly it is much smaller, but this one was used in the Statue of Liberty for erasing the Memory of all Citizens of New York.
August 17th, 2008
An Aluminum Extruded Football, cement-filled!
August 17th, 2008
An iPhone
August 17th, 2008
A hot babe driving a car!
August 17th, 2008
Mash potatoes
August 17th, 2008
it isn’t great lasagna on a spoon
August 17th, 2008
It is a low-res computer generated picture depiction, of what a pre-neutron star going supernova looks like.
August 17th, 2008
It’s a prototype diet-cola and mentos combustion chamber for hybrid cars that will never see production because it’s owned by OPEC
August 18th, 2008
The iBrator
August 18th, 2008
The US Republican candidate for president’s chief-of-staff.
August 18th, 2008
Good, clean fun for the whole family.
August 18th, 2008
Less intelligent or talented than Paris Hilton.
August 18th, 2008
I know what it is… It brought me severe headaches!
Its coming from the educational area of society. I saw it first at a boot camp I attended where it was used to sort out alcohol particles is a wine/beer processing device. Just fill it with beer or wine and attach it to a hi-pot electrical source. Then submerse the wider part into cold water. After the process is done, alcohol-free beer or wine is below the filter (left in this picture.)
Very confusing picture because the device has to be turned 90 degrees counter-cloclockwise to be used!
Alan, If I win, please donate the value of the prize to some good humanitary fund. I’m just playing for the honour (this time
)
August 18th, 2008
It’s an antique distiller used for urine samples. You swirl it around and then lay the flask back on the wooden support and let the fumes distill and trickle their way down. Way back when this is how cops used to check you for a DUI/DWI. Apparrently very well used due to the stains on the neck.
August 18th, 2008
Very sad: The first time in this contest I know what it really is.
August 18th, 2008
it’s a doohickey
August 18th, 2008
It’s a sad story to say that at one time this device was once a great cornerstone in the society of the pudding people.
In 3020 BC the king of the pudding people wielded this weapon of power and fertility as a means to protect his empire from the vile man eating danish pastry. unfortunately a usurper to the throne managed to steal the flute of will, and in an attempt to use the power of his own banished his people to the dimension of fickle time and energy.
August 18th, 2008
sorry Enzer Milliard I missed your post please disregard mine.
August 18th, 2008
It’s not a night-light (is it?)
August 18th, 2008
that is definitely NOT a speculum. (where’d my other post go?)
August 18th, 2008
The item is a contactless cavity search device. When hooked up to a USB connection with proper software installed, the bulbous end is aimed at the desired cavity and the image is captured. It makes cavity searches at the airport quicker, less painful, more hygienic, and saves rubber gloves.
August 18th, 2008
It’s none of the things mentioned her so far, and by no means is an item described in any of the long drawn out story like comments. It’s something else entirely.
August 18th, 2008
First atenpt for “neuralisator” (memory eraser) from MIB film!
August 18th, 2008
I guess this is one of those glass cannon my sister spoke of.
August 18th, 2008
This is a DialUpAnywhere from iWantDialupNow. Using the power of 56k and on-the-fly compression, you can get internet from you Pocket PC, PalmOS(R) device, PC, Mac, iPod, virtually anything electronic! With its built-in phosphor screen, you can even surf the Web without an external device. The way this device works is by using the cell phone infrastructure to connect to the Internet. For $29.95 (S&H included) you can unleash the power of the Internet! For a limited time, you can WIN a Pocket PC, Palm T|X, your choice of ANY Alienware computer, an iMac, and a free home theatre! Go to iwantdialupanywhere.com to enter or order NOW!
(C) 2008 iWantDialupNow. All rights whatevered.
August 19th, 2008
it is an old gamma radiation douche. The gamma radiation is emitted from the plate at the back and combined with a vinegar formula at the front input tube and electrons are introduced into the formula at the middle tube. the electrons bond with the vaginal goop which releases itself from the uterine wall thus rendering the cooch orderless.
August 19th, 2008
All comments too nerdy and sucks
August 19th, 2008
@therian: because yours is great. A jock really needs a cable tester..
August 19th, 2008
it’s that glass thing that does that thing
August 19th, 2008
It is a CRT.
August 19th, 2008
It´s a fluoroscope……or I die!
August 19th, 2008
It’s the Olympic torch from the first televised games in 1936.
August 19th, 2008
It’s the beam generator for DOCTOR LENARD’S HAIR TATTOO(tm). Whether your goal is a Lily Munster patch or a full body zebra-stripes treatment, Hair Tattoo comes through(tm). After the painful radiation-blisters fall away, hair follicles will be permanently altered to only produce filaments of frosty white.
August 19th, 2008
This is the first prototype of the 1080p compatible CRT display for consumer use. The developer had hoped that it would be adopted for the new fibre-optic data-streaming interface intended to replace HDMI 1.3 . Unfortunately, when the final design for the 60 inch HDTV display assembly called for a 10kva air-cooled power supply for the filament alone, project funding was withdrawn, and it never developed beyond the 5 inch diagonal screen shown in the picture.
August 19th, 2008
Cathode Ray Tube
August 19th, 2008
This is most definately an optical cable tester. It projects the various light rays from the cable onto the large domed surface for easy visual debugging.
It was recalled in 2006 for causing blindness in 99.7% of technicians. They were quoted to be “blinded by the light”
August 19th, 2008
Its what you put in your tv to get free cable…
August 19th, 2008
Its the one and only scope for James Bonds one and only glass gun which will be shown in the new 007 movie “Quantum of Solace”
August 20th, 2008
It isn’t a heated cathode CRT with deflection plates, deflection
yoke assembly and shadow mask with red, blue and green
phosphors and electron beam velocity modulation with dynamic convergence. That’s what it’s not. And, no I never was
a TV repairman.
August 20th, 2008
It’s definitely a 1940’s thermometer for babies with Hydrocephalus.
August 20th, 2008
wow thats sad…. but its definitely not the greatest bongc… but… its got potential.
August 20th, 2008
Cathode Ray Tube for x rays
August 20th, 2008
Cathode Ray Tube for x rays for cats
August 21st, 2008
Holy S***, those r da secret weapon form Rusia!! I hv 1 of these seating outside of my house in georegia. Y won’t the US govament do sth about s*** going on in they’re own backyard?
August 21st, 2008
That isn’t a water bong. That CERTAINLY isn’t MY water bong either…
Give me three minutes, a filter and some duct tape, and it might be…. ;P
August 21st, 2008
It’s gotta be the at-home three step colon detox kit. I went through three of these puppies back in the 1960’s during the great colon scare. They were state of the art at the time, an oasis in the desert, replacing the traditional finger method. A true testament to the ingenuity of man. This one doesn’t look like it’s been used yet though.
August 21st, 2008
Its what my dad burned me with when i spilled paint in the garage…
August 21st, 2008
Its a small off duty chekoslavakian traffic warden
Its a Red and blue striped golfing umbrella
Its the bolivian navy on maneuvers in the south pacific
August 21st, 2008
Irish Vase
August 21st, 2008
That isn’t a Chamber Pot, is it?
August 21st, 2008
It looks like Alan must be on vacation or he would have removed
about half of the comments. My great-great grandfather was from
Ireland, btw.
So, does anyone know what contest #56 was?
One more guess as to what it’s not. It’s a test apparatus for an automatic
cow milking machine. If the machine can get something out of this, it’s
working really well.
August 21st, 2008
I can tell you what it’s not. It’s not what you think it is.
August 21st, 2008
Actually, it is what I think it is, I just can’t tell you what I think it is.
August 21st, 2008
Hi Fran,
Not on vacation.
The last contest winner will be announced tomorrow.
August 22nd, 2008
The Braun tube, this small early 1900 tube is in fact a cold Cathode Crookes tube with an internal mica screen covered with phosphorescent paint. The neck contains a glass diaphragm with a small 2mm hole to let only a tiny electron beam go through (focus) which can be deflected by an (electro) magnet to produce a spot on the screen.
August 22nd, 2008
This is obviously a time space continuim distortion array used in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III however in the movie they had to disguise it so people would not try to steal it and they also wanted to use the sound effects from the classic Dr. Who.
August 22nd, 2008
duh. its a glass dildo for squirrels with large hands.
August 22nd, 2008
It’s the past home of a genie-in-a-bottle genie.
August 22nd, 2008
It’s not a dick of a glass-elefant, because glass-elefants don’t got weird extentions on their dicks.
August 22nd, 2008
don’t believe all you read here - its not glass - its a new make-you-all believe its glass device. So, if you beam at something, anything - YOU will believe its glass.. its not..
i think.. glass.. must..be.. oh my god.. its Active!
August 22nd, 2008
It definitely isn’t what it’s never supposed to be, it is however what it isn’t supposed to be.
August 23rd, 2008
it is what it is! or is it?
August 23rd, 2008
It’s the only way to make a good cup of coffee around here
August 23rd, 2008
kaptin kaptin.. wee foundh tha Dailitiom kristal Chambre - finally we can go hoom -
Ai ai, Snotty.. Beam it up.. and go..
Behold! High on speed- low on drag..
August 23rd, 2008
its not a tumor.
nor is it a new high tech hi def tv set for minimalists….or is it? hmmmmm
August 23rd, 2008
The key to my heart.
August 24th, 2008
you’re worst nightmare
August 24th, 2008
it’s anything that it isn’t
August 28th, 2008
it isnt butter!
August 28th, 2008
A glass thang
September 6th, 2008
Winner announced.
They were fun to read! Thanks for all the entries.
September 6th, 2008
(Oh, I guess I didn’t have the funniest one up there after all.)